You've gotta have friends, or so the song says. Like many things people often say, it's true. For sure, it certainly helps to have all the people you can in your corner when you're dealing with this disease.
When I first started thinking about this topic, the above rather clichéd intro was all I could come up with. However, while pondering my complete absence of words of wisdom on the topic I got to think about those people I count as friends and how my MS must have affected them. Sadly, this is the first time I'd given this any thought.
When I was first diagnosed, I did not internalize my anguish and fear like some do, but rather blurted it out to all those who'd listen. My best friend, my wife, took the brunt of it. Next came everyday friends like colleagues at work and neighbors. Then my oldest but now long-distance (I grew up in England) high school, college, and early coworker friends. Finally came anybody else who'd listen, pretty much. Boy did I spill.
Everyone was in turn shocked and then sympathetic. I suppose I was craving attention and, as most of you reading probably know, nothing gets people's attention quite like announcing that you have a chronic disease that conjures up images of canes and wheelchairs in the minds of all that hear it. Never once did it occur to me to consider how this news might affect them - I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. Well I'm not any more. I'm completely reconciled to my life ("it is what it is" as my wise wife so often says). In fact, I love it. Now I realize that it is time for me to unburden some of the people I leaned on when I needed consolation.
I think the people closest to me know that I'm doing fine now (you know, some days I don't think about MS even once). But I'm going to go out of my way to thank them for their support and for sticking around when the going got rough. But what about those people that I only really talk to occasionally at work? What about my best friend from high school that I hadn't spoken to for 15 years but called at his home in the Czech Republic to drop my dramatic bombshell on? Those guys deserve to hear that I'm doing fine. They deserve some thanks for listening to me wallow. And they deserve to be asked how they are doing.
Got to go now - I have some calls to make!
This journal reflects the personal experience of one person and others can be different. It is best to contact your doctor to discuss what's best for you. Tim is an MS LifeLines Ambassador and has chosen to share his story with other people living with MS. MS LifeLines and MS LifeLines Ambassadors are sponsored by EMD Serono and Pfizer.
