Breana — MS LifeLines^® Ambassador

Picture this: a young, healthy eighth grader involved in volleyball, basketball, and softball. This girl rarely got sick and was in the best shape of her life. This was me. Sports were my life—when one season ended, another began. And I was good—especially at softball. I was invincible.

Then one morning, I was thrown a nasty curveball. I woke up and saw two of everything. I blinked and blinked again. What was wrong? I didn't tell anyone for a few days as the double vision came and went, but I finally let my mom know. She took me to a doctor to find out what was going on. It took some time and a number of tests—complicated by the braces on my teeth, which interfered with the MRI—but finally I was diagnosed with relapsing Multiple Sclerosis.

Just a few hours before I got my diagnosis, my mom and I happened to be watching the Today Show when they aired a piece about young people with MS. Some of the kids had lost all mobility, and others needed special assistance for everyday activities. When I got my diagnosis a few hours later—I was scared to death. How would this disease shape my future?

I started a treatment within a month of my diagnosis, but relapsing MS was having a big impact on my life. I mostly kept my diagnosis to myself, but the secrecy didn't keep MS from affecting me. One by one, during my early high school years, my favorite sports became impossible. Either I'd get overheated and my blurred vision would lead to errors, or my coaches would put me on the bench. I'd sit there remembering when I was a star player and getting more and more frustrated. Anger was building up inside me, but I pushed it down and threw myself into new activities. I started taking piano lessons and got more involved in my school, community and church. Plus—I started working towards becoming valedictorian of my class. All those activities were great on their own—but I was going overboard in my attempts to run away from my diagnosis. I was stressing myself to the limit.

Luckily—there was one more activity I tried: learning more about relapsing MS. My mom and I attended a symposium sponsored by EMD Serono and Pfizer, the makers of Rebif. We were inspired when we heard an MS LifeLines Ambassador and a doctor speak. When I started having some side effects from my first treatment, my mom and I asked my doctor if Rebif might be the right treatment for me. And so, in December 2004, I started taking Rebif. Overall I feel like I've responded well to Rebif. And the added bonus was that I only have to inject myself three times a week with Rebif instead of every day.

For me, Rebif has been the right fit—my experience with it has been positive. I'm happy to say that I haven't had a relapse since early 2005. Plus, my last three annual MRI results indicate no new lesions, and the original five lesions have also quieted down. (The exact correlation between MRI findings and the current or future clinical status of patients, including disability progression, is unknown.) My doctor, my family and I all feel that Rebif has helped me delay the progression of MS.

Although Rebif, like all medications, has side effects, I find them to be manageable. For instance, I experience flu-like symptoms after taking Rebif, so that's why I take an analgesic at night (before I inject), which my doctor recommended to lessen those symptoms. And now, doing my injection three times a week has become part of my routine. But that's just how it is for me. Some people who take Rebif may also experience fatigue, injection site reactions, depression, liver problems and blood abnormalities. That's why it's so important to talk to your doctor to determine what's right for you.

Although starting on Rebif and learning more about relapsing MS was great, I was pushing myself to the limit with all my activities and in other, even more dangerous ways, too. Because I wasn't playing sports any more, I'd put on a little weight. I started dieting with healthy, well balanced meals—which was okay. But, once people started to notice my weight loss and tell me that I looked good, I thought—hey, even skinnier would be even better. I was proud of my size 00 pants, but I wasn't my old self any more. It was almost as if I'd become a machine, one that didn't experience emotion—I just acted as if I did. I never truly laughed or felt anything real. Deep down, I guess I knew that I was hurting myself, but I didn't care.

Finally, my mom made an appointment for me with a psychiatrist. I resisted at first, but now I'm so glad she made me go—have I mentioned how much I love my mom? The psychiatrist helped me to help myself. I realized I couldn't starve my MS away, but that's what I'd been trying to do. I admitted that I had an eating disorder, and I faced my fears about my relapsing MS. I started to put weight back on, and once again people told me how great I looked. This time, though, they also told me how much happier I seemed.

Today, thanks to Rebif and my new more well rounded approach to living a healthy life, I'm doing great. I'm in school studying accounting and finance, I have lots of hobbies—including walking with my mom, both for exercise and to talk—and I'm doing my best to live each day to the fullest. Relapsing MS has even had some positive effects on my life—including giving me the opportunity to speak with patients and doctors as an MS LifeLines Ambassador myself. I've got my family, my friends, my faith in God and faith in myself. Now I know that I can handle whatever curveballs come my way.

This story reflects the personal experience of one person, and others can be different. Results and experiences vary from patient to patient. It is best to contact your doctor to discuss what's best for you. Breana is an MS LifeLines Ambassador, and she has chosen to share her story with other people living with MS.

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